Guest Post: Heeeee's Back!

Well I'm back from the honeymoon and I know you all missed me terribly. I think I read all of the posts that were placed while I was gone. Luckily Roger slacked a little and there weren't too many. I enjoyed both Roger's and Perrotti's recaps of the wedding. Here are a couple of things that stuck out in my mind:

- Kohanski was the drunkest I've ever seen him. I don't know if you all were drunk as well and didn't notice it as much as me, but it was hilarious. The best line of the night was right at the end when we were packing up to leave and Koho was trashed. We were talking about dancing and Michelle's mom couldn't remember if she danced with Koho or not. I believe he said "Yeah we danced together twice... and they were the best two dances of my life!" He could have taken her home right there if he wanted.
- The garter toss was pretty funny as well. I'm surprised both Roger and Perrotti failed to comment on it (Perrotti touched on it in a later comment). My first toss of the garter was embarassingly bad, but the second toss was great since Roger snatched it out of the air like it was Star Wars figurine. Then watching him rush to put it on Amy was hilarious. Especially since the DJ made fun of him and made Amy put it on his leg. I believe she grabbed his crotch, but we'll have to go to the video recap for that.
- The dancing by Perrotti and Rob was very disappointing. At least Koho drank enough to not care what he looked like. Trust me, I was probably the worst dancer there and there is probably plenty of proof of it on camera. It was good to see Roger bust a move as well and Ryan Andrew was definitely "That Guy" at the wedding.
- It definitely was hilarious that the priest made fun of Perrotti. I can't get over that.
There are a lot of other good moments, but Perrotti and Roger hit most of them.

As for the honeymoon, I'm sure you all want to hear how it went. We'll lets just start off by saying that I had sex... with a girl. And it was everything I dreamed about. OK, now take a moment to get that image out of your head. The trip was pretty nice, overall I'd give it a B. The reason it didn't get an A is that it rained a lot so we didnt' get much sun, and we got to the resort a day late due to Delta's suckiness (more on that in the next paragraph). The resort was pretty nice, but it didn't handle all of the rain very well. There were puddles everywhere and the pools were gross at the end and needed some cleaning. We were at Sandals though, which is all-inclusive, so that was really nice. I had a ton of white russians. I tried a bunch of girly drinks too since I drink beer all the time at home. The beer they had though actually wasn't bad. They had Heinekin and some other brand called Piton which tasted similar to Amstel Light to me. The food was really good too and there was plenty of it. I'll share the photos with you guys sometime soon.

As for the trip down, it was quite an adventure. Our flight out of Hartford was delayed about half an hour and we only had 40 minutes to make the connection in Atlanta as it was. When we got to Atlanta, we got stuck on the runway for about 5 more minutes and we sprinted from our arrival gate to the next gate. We got there 7 minutes BEFORE the scheduled departure time, with the plane still sitting next to the jetway, but they wouldn't let us on the plane becuase "by law international flights must close the gates 10 minutes prior to departure". The douchebag at the gate told us to go talk to the Delta reps and made it sound like we'd easily get another flight out. Well as you can guess, flying to St. Lucia isn't exactly the same as flying to Chicago. Delta didn't have another flight going there for at least 3 more days, and they couldn't find any other airlines (that they had agreements with) with flights there the same day. So the best possible solution they had was to fly us to Trinidad for the night and then get a flight from there early the next morning. Apparently this isn't even close to the first time Delta has had this problem and the lady at the desk was pissed that it happened again. She was nice enough to help us out though and give us some free drink vouchers for the plane. Luckily for us, we weren't the only couple with this problem. Another couple from Boston had the same issue and they were with us all the way to St. Lucia. They were really nice too so that was cool.

So anyways, we arrive in Trinidad that night and Delta was nice enough to put us up in a hotel room (which they should of). Of course though, they picked the cheapest fucking hotel they could find. We got put in some majorly sketchy hotel about 5 minutes from the airport in basically the ghetto of Trinidad. Our room was something straight out of a horror movie. Dirty sheets on the bed, hot as hell with a 1970's air conditioner, the bathroom was moist, and the remote was sticky. Amazingly they had a TV so we tried to stay up all night watching that because we were afraid to fall asleep. I seriously thought we were going to get raped and murdered in there. I even put the suitcases in front of the doors so that we could hear someone trying to break in and we'd have a little extra time to prepare ourselves for the ass-pounding. Somehow we managed to get about 2 hours of sleep and then we got the hell out of there and back to the airport as early as we could. It was an excellent start to our honeymoon. I'm hoping Judge Dre can get Delta to pay for the day we missed at the resort because it was probably about 15 times more expensive than the hotel room they put us up in that night. Needless to say, we will not be visiting Trinidad again.

They had most major TV stations in St. Lucia, so I was able to keep up with sports for the most part. It sucks that the Red Sox beat the Angels and I lost my bet, but they look like the bad news Bears against the Rays, so that's nice. I hope the Rays crush the Phillies in the World Series, although it is nice to see that the NL East is proving that it actually is a tough division. I was also very happy to see that Perrotti's man-crush Tony "I'm a homo" Romo has been injured and is out for several weeks(on a side note, espn is quoting that RoNo!!! might play this weekend, which sucks for the Giants b/c I was hoping he'd be out for that game. Oh yeah, this is Roger typing). Things like that just make me smile.

Anyways we'll have to hang out together soon (except Roger who left us again). Michelle said I'm allowed to hang out with you guys once a month as long as she is told where we're going and when. Just kidding, I can probably do something Friday and/or Saturday this weekend. Let me know what you're up to.